My American Vacation, Part 2: The Wedding and Philly

The actual justifiable reason for my month long vacation was my close cousin Tristan’s wedding to his wonderful fiancé Naomi with whom he has been in a relationship for 7-8 years. Tristan is almost perfectly spaced between me and my older brother (I’m 24, he is 28, my brother is 31), so naturally when we are around each other we interact like brothers. He’s intellectual and worldly so we have great conversation and interaction. His fiancé has a wonderful sense of humour and culture about her along with a very enthusiastic personality. The couple interacted just like best friends and I think they have something that will last. So I felt I needed to attend this once-in-a-lifetime event. Even if that mean spending over 1.5 months Malaysian pay for plane tickets, and another month’s pay for spending money total for my American vacation. So I rode down to Philadelphia from New York with a few of the groomsmen in the wedding; from the interaction during the ride, I knew it would be a fun time around all the characters. I came into town the day of the bachelor party and related functions. The comedic interaction between everyone was priceless all night; the drinking and the “festivities” of the night made it even funnier; I won’t go into detail about the night’s goings-ons, part of the man code. The wedding itself was beautiful, it took place at an old mansion site. The actual backdrop for the ceremony was a lake back behind the flower-covered structure that the wedding party stood at. It was beautiful. The groomsmen all came out in shades. My little cousin Merv, the groom's little brother, is 21 and had a Kool-Aid smile walking down the aisle with a much older and very attractive bridesmaid. The reception was very nice also. After the eating was over, it turned into an open bar party event, which was fly. You saw some ppl who had previously kept refined come out of their shell on the dance floor after about drink 3. Danielle, the bride's energetic cousin from Atlanta, and G, the groomsman with the braids pictured, stole the show on the dance floor. G's smoothness crept up on a handful of different women as the night went on. Danielle hit the dance floor with the enthusiasm of Diamond Princess from Crime Mob (it's a young ppl reference, if u don't know who that is, don't sweat it). Watching my retired Air Force Lt. Col father dance is also entertaining whenever I see it. It made for an interesting night. Despite the financial turmoil that the trip has put me in for the next month and change, it was worth it. I love my family. I hope they enjoy the honeymoon in St. Martins...and my Asian wedding gifts. Enjoy the pictures below.

My American Vacation, Part 1: A Touristy Week in NY

It feels strange as an American to use the words "American Vacation" but I feel it's accurate when you actually have been living and working elsewhere and rather than just coming home and chilling, you're actually actively on a schedule seeing things and people. East Coast Tour may have been more accurate, but it's written now, so I'll just live with it. **Kanye shrug**After a quick 5 hour flight to Shanghai, a layover there, and 15.5 hours in the air bonding with a teenage Chinese chick who speaks only a few words of English, I landed at JFK Airport in New York City. This was my first opportunity to spend time in NYC old enough to truly do anything. I went there with some preconceived notions that I actually found to be outdated fairly quickly. I think in terms of stereotypes, NYC is still widely characterized by the city as it was in the 80's. Most New Yorkers I ran across were fairly friendly and personable, the streets aren't lined with homeless people and prostitutes at Times Square anymore, the subway cars aren't covered in artistic graffiti anymore (a bummer because I was looking forward to taking pictures of the artwork), you don't feel eminent danger walking the streets in the middle of the night (although I'd still recommend you know where you are going), etc. I give Rudy Guiliani a lot of credit for cleaning up the city quite a bit. Now, some rumors did end up being true: the prices for parking, housing and such are crazy expensive (see parking 'special' prices picture below). I saw an authentic NYPD beating of an unarmed and innocent homeless man, who had already been tased. 10 cops were beating him when I arrived (pictured below); his crime: dancing on the sidewalk. I wish I could say I was surprised they lived up to their reputation. But I enjoyed my trip so much because for the first time, I got a glimpse of why ppl call NYC the 'greatest city on Earth.' As a graduate from a college of Architecture, I look at cities differently than most ppl already, and NYC is a treat from that perspective. You see building in so many different styles, textures, and from different time periods sharing walls on the same block. See the picture below of the Home Depot which is in an almost victorian styled white building, you would never see that in other parts of the country, and probably the world. You see small things culturally that you usually wouldn't run into, every corner has several types of food including a Halal food stand amongst the more traditional American quick cuisine; I must have had at least 5 gyros from street vendors while I was there, see the picture below of the multi-colored bike which I randomly saw walking from the Brooklyn Bridge. The Brooklyn Bridge and Empire State Buildings are like living legends of Architecture and were remarkably ahead of their time when built. The Guggenheim Museum itself and its art collection were fairly amazing, I would guess I stood out as the only young African American male and the only one wearing urban wear in such a prestigious museum. Any quirky interest or even fetish you have, there is a sub community (and possibly even a museum) there for it if you look hard enough. Any kind of music, hobby, food, clothes, art, you name it and you can find it there somewhere. The Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum in Times Square fulfilled my quota for quirky and odd things (see shrunken head and wooden Mercedes pics below). Even the house next door to where I was staying had a fake decapitated head hanging by its eye lids hanging in the doorway (pictured below) and it's nowhere near Halloween. LOL. I got to meet Morgan Freeman (pictured below), so what if he was made of wax. LOL. The 24hour a day subway was very convenient, pretty much anywhere in Manhattan and much of Brooklyn, you're never more than about 4-5 blocks from a station. I had interesting discussions with various people, especially a gentleman I who was helping coordinate the renovation of the house I where I was staying in Brooklyn (shout out to Ms. Rita Brackeen for having me, apologies again for misplacing that set of keys) about different conspiracy theories and feelings towards the government; When I went to the 9/11 construction site and temporary museum, the side was lined with conspiracy theorists trying to 'educate' the tourists about how the attack was an elaborate hoax by the CIA. Whether or not I agree, I wonder just how strong of convictions a group of people have to make shirts, signs, and flyers to give out to people at the site of America's greatest tragedy site; it's a big step beyond talking about your suspicions in your living room. It's a spirit I can truly respect. On the walk back from the train station to where I was staying, I encountered a very public (although it should have been kept private) conversation between a cute girl with low self-esteem and her boyfriend (or whatever he'd called himself). It was entertaining if nothing else; it was like watching TV. LOL. Overall, I'm still not sure if I could live there due to the expensive living and all those ppl, but New York impressed me. And although I was underwhelmed by the women, I'll make sure I go back. Didn't get to see the Statue of Liberty, I guess I'll have to catch that girly next time. More vacation stories coming soon...

Missing the Concept

If you don't know by now, Malaysia where I am is a Muslim country. The Malays, the natives of the country, make up over half the population and they are a Muslim people. Almost all of the Muslim women wear head scarves to cover their hair when they are anywhere outside of their homes. But at the same time, they'll wear tights or skin tight jeans or whatever. Maybe I'm missing something. I was under the impression that the concept was that the cover was to shield people from seeing your body and curves. They are only supposed to be seen and appreciated by the husband was my understanding. Well, apparently, not in Malaysia. In the Middle East, shariah law (the Muslim system of law) is enforced to the letter in fundamentalist and (personal opinion) extreme fashion. Women can still be stoned, burned, and a host of other things for even the most minor interaction or effort to attract a man other than their husband. Someone who used to enforcing such lawas would lose their mind if they saw some of these women, especially those with real curves, walking around in skin tight jeans to accompany their head scarves. I'm a little confused by it myself. But what do I know? LOL

Satay and Steamboat

I was once asked "What foods from here in Malaysia will I miss the most when i leave?" I hadn't thought through a good answer at the time. But know I think I know at least a few of them. Satay is grilled marinated meat (chicken, beef or lamb usually) on a skewer stick which is served with peanut sauce. I'm not sure what the marinade is, but it's great and I like it. They're a great side to a meal. Plus you can get 10 skewers for 6 ringgits (about $2 US). As far as steamboat, it's similar to the fondue restaurants in the US, like "The Melting Pot." You pick your soup of choice to start; and there were some interesting options. Everything from Chinese Herbal Soup to Pumpkin Porridge Broth is available for cooking your foods in. The foods are mainly seafood: fish balls, shrimp, etc. The Chinese herbal soup helped amplify the flavor of the foods. The downfall of course is that you have to cook your own food to an extent. It doesn't take long with seafood, but either way, you still have to spend your own valuable time waiting for your food to finish cooking in your soup of choice. But either way, they are two foods that I will true miss when I leave the country.

Am I pampered?

Am I the "pampered" American? Noone has used that word or come at in a disrespectful manner or anything but there have been a couple of occasions where people say something like "Man, you couldn't like where I'm from." Whether it's people I've met from Africa, smaller Asian towns, the Middle East, or anywhere else, we will be talking and they will discuss some condition that I would be disgruntled with that is completely normal to them. It started month ago when one gentleman was so shocked that America has standard central air conditioning in houses that he seemed to think we were wasteful. When people ask me about things I haven't adjusted to here in Malaysia and one of my answers is cold showers, as my bathroom at the apartment doesn't have the water heating unit required to get hot water in this country. This is usually followed by a look of shock as if hot water should be treated as a delicacy. When I walk into a bathroom, I don't like to see the floor serving as a big puddle, which is very common here. Part of it is drainage, part of it is that many use the hose in the stall instead of toilet paper (which gets everything wet). Call me stuck up, but it just doesn't strike me as the most sanitary. Not feeling it. Furthermore, I'm having trouble considering it normal if I come home to ants all over my living room or roaches all over my kitchen, even when it's clean. Once again, just doesn't give me that 'sanitary' feeling. If my electricity or phone bill has been paid, I expect it to stay on. I'm not a fan of random rolling black outs or dead phone times. Is that so much to ask? I expect quality dairy products, very hard to find here. I expect quality fruit juice for cheap. I know products which have to shipped from America will be more expensive, but it gets ridiculous. Why is a carton of Florida's Own juice (a middle of the road juice company) which costs $1 in Atlanta cost RM 25 (or $8.35 or so) here. Be reminded, I get paid in Malay ringgits, so RM 25 hits the pocket like $25 in the US. I'm coming to find that the American lifestyle of technology and convenience is seen as "the dream" for a reason. It's not promised. I appreciate it more now. I miss WalMart, Best Buy, Waffle House, IHOP, American sports bars, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and many more American establishments more than I could have imagined I would. LOL. Selamat malam, let me walk to the gym and get a decently warm shower.

The Enemy Among Us

Right after our return from Chinese New Years holiday, we noticed we had an extra crew member at sight. He's a seemingly nice older Pakistani man with a constant smirk on his face and who is always way too dressed up for the fact that we live on a construction site; usually a dress shirt, slate grey vest, and slacks to go with our obligatory hard hat and work boots. It's a shame I found out his purpose at our site and therefore we could never be friends. When we come to work in the morning, at the return times from each tea break, and anywhere near time to leave, he would be standing near the front gate watching us. Over the course of the day, you see him randomly walking and watching - never writing, reading, or interacting - only watching. You guessed it, he is the corporate spy. No other scope of work, just spying. He was replaced at another site so that he could come to ours and snitch about anyone's tardiness, early leaving, or anything else he may think is noteworthy in a bad way. As one of the ppl who depends on others entirely for my transportation, I'm one of those who is screwed by this. My boss or supervisor usually picks me and my Filipino co-worker up in the mornings. We are supposed to be there at 8 am sharp, we usually arrive between 8:15 and 8:30 am. Guess who's face is waiting at the gate every time? The same two gentlemen who usually provide me rides, my project manager and senior supervisor, don't want to arrive at their homes any later than they usually do. This means that if they are used to making it home at 6:30 pm or so, and taking us home takes them about 25 minutes out of their way, they want to leave earlier to compensate for the time spent. So of course, that means the same slightly smiling face sees me leave before 6 pm every day too. No good can come from him being at my job. And therefore, I've deemed him "the enemy among us"

A Level of Superstition

In the States, usually I think superstition is a bit obsolete. Some people use it as an excuse not to make their own decisions. They feel that if they can live by it and therefore they don't have to be accountable for the consequences; because 'they didn't pick.' But here, the Chinese brand of superstition mixed with their Buddhist faith has an entirely different feel. It intrigues me. All of the Chinese men I usually eat lunch with (ranging from ages 30 to 62) are regular lottery players. Even deeming it "investing in the future." But it's nothing like America where ppl play their 'lucky numbers' or numbers that hold some certain significance to them. Here, their favorite numbers to play are those on a license plate of a car that's just been in an accident or broken down somehow. It's supposed to be the best luck. Riding with my boss two days ago we passed a Mercedes which had caught fire, luckily noone was hurt. His first words: "Did you see the license numbers?"

Furthermore, I always wondered when I was younger how seriously the Chinese took the "Year of the ..." zodiac-like symbols I always used to see on the paper place mats at the Chinese restaurants. But they take it quite seriously and some ppl will tell u directly that they think it's best u not spend time around them becuz their years clash too aggressively.

The construction project I'm working on now was delayed 2-3 weeks because they had to find a 'good day' to break ground. There's apparently an entire calendar of days which are good or bad for different kinds of events.

For Chinese New Years (which starts in 3 days officially), there is a dish is a tradition to have at or right around the event. As we had it today, it was explained to me that everyone was to take their chopsticks and mix the dish up in unison to ensure prosperity of the businesses. For calendar new year, there is a ceremonial drink which formally signifies you being one year older.

Also, at the construction site, there is a Buddhist prayer vessel called... well, I don't know how it's spelled, but it is pronounced "dato." It's a common belief that it is essential to satisfying the guardian that protects the site. It is filled with oils and incense, which must be kept burning to continue the good fortune of the site.

These are but a few examples of the heavy involvement of superstition (sometimes manifested through their Buddhist faith). It's an interesting part of the culture that adds to the experience on being truly immersed in another ethnicity's culture. Adds to the experience and it intrigues me.