There he is. The man, the myth, the legend. I’m past the point of avoiding him. Even past the point that he annoys me a little. I’m actually at the point where I pity him. Yes, I said I pity him. I pity him because I realize that if he truly believes the things that he argues, his life is not going to be anything I’d want to live in. His priorities are curious to say the least. We’re here for one year and he wants to do things like buy a car and a motorbike, but he only brought 3 work-suitable shirts and no work-suitable pants to somewhere he’d be working for an entire year. How much sense does that make to you? When we went shopping for our house with reps from our company, the things he was most worried about were very weird stuff: a frying pan with grill marks (very picky about the size of the grill marks), strainers (multiple, actually), a wash pan (because apparently doing the dishes in the sink just won’t do), etc. Even more so, since I’ve been here, he finds something rather ridiculous to argue with me every few days. First we were talking about eating healthy and he honestly tries to convince me and others that pork is very good for you and it is bread that is giving everyone high cholesterol and heart disease. He says scientists in general are proven wrong and that conventional knowledge about nutrition is all media propaganda because Jimmy Carter was a vegetarian and this has somehow lived on since then. Think that over for a minute. Media propaganda from the Carter administration, he said. On a similar note, he argued that Subway is a sham because it’s actually worse for you than McDonald’s. Yeah, he said this to me with a straight face. However, his diet is weird, he claims he likes spicy food and isn’t a picky eater however he tries to order them “no padas” meaning ‘not hot’ because the spice messed up his stomach. Also, he doesn’t eat bread, rice, or noodles because he says they mess up his stomach; but I’ve seen him eat weird foods like Durian, octopus, and sting ray. If you got a picky stomach, fine. But be real. I don’t have a picky stomach. Other coworkers don’t have picky stomachs, so we have to ask YOU where you can eat. Meaning you’re the picky one. The list goes on, we go places where there may be women or even just general an upscale environment. He “dresses up” in a plain gray t-shirt (yes, the same one everytime), jeans (the same jeans) and dingy white sneakers (once again, yes the same one every time). We saw a Lamborghini and I made a comment that I think it’s a nice car but it’s too low for me to drive everyday. He, all of 5’7 to 5’8 and 120 lbs or so, argues with me that it’s not hard to get out of because size is irrelevant in those situations so it’s just as easy for me as it is for him. If you’re talking about a car as low as a Lambo, how is size irrelevant? He’s one of those people who is a buzz kill in conversation. People, not just me, seem to look for ways to exclude him when we’re having social or funny moments. He something says something a little sexist or calls something ‘girly’ but he’s far from a man’s man. My boss questions if he’s ever been with a lady because of how odd he is around women. He talked junk about his ability to drink, but then doesn’t drink anymore because the first times he drank here, they didn’t go well. He tries to blame the beer.But all of that has become minor in comparison to a conversation we had about decisions. After a normal, “this is a job, you have to make decisions” statement, he reveals to us that he doesn’t believe people are capable of making decisions. He believes that the environment makes your decisions for you. He says that this is verified by science and is indisputable. That’s right, he said that all nutritionists are full of hot air and spewing Jimmy Carter-originated BS; but he believes that scientists have proved without a shadow of a doubt that the environment makes decisions for people instead of them making them for themselves. After some argument, I thought a little more about things and it made me a little sad for him. Take a moment and truly think about the ramifications of a grown man who truly believes he’s not capable of deciding anything for himself. I’m here in Malaysia, despite some job offers in America, because I wanted an international work experience before I settle into the usual working grown person role for the rest of my life. I’m beginning to think that he honestly is here because it’s the first job that presented itself. In his mind, it was “Well, I’ve spent enough time in my parents’ house in England looking for an engineering job; one became available in Malaysia so destiny must want me to go there.” And that was the end of it. Unlike me, no deep thought went into it at all. He didn’t even bring a camera, saying that he doesn’t care about pictures from this YEAR LONG overseas experience. How much do you think he’ll gain from this experience compared to what he has the potential to gain? Then I thought about it even deeper and it gets scarier. How accountable can someone be if they don’t think they make their own decisions? Can you imagine how mad you would get if you tried to ask an employee about ways to rectify a bad decision he made and he says “You really can’t be mad at me, I didn’t really make the decision; the environment around me did.” I’d be tempted to hit him in the throat. Furthermore, exactly how ambitious can you be if you think that way. I went to high school with a guy, Devon, who was brilliant. I mean, I define intelligence as the ability to learn, analyze and process information. And Devon has as much or more of it than anyone else I know. He had the potential to do great things. However, to be great, you have to consciously take a step further than being average or even being good. To use a computer example, that’s how you go from being a smart kid who became a computer hacker and step up to becoming an information entrepreneur or invent something computer-related that changes the world. However, exactly how can you start this process if you don’t feel that step is not yours to take? No one else can take it for you. One of the things that I believe shaped my life immensely is my parents’ mindset on how to raise a man. They raised me and my brother in a way - through lessons, experiences, and exposures – that as an adult we will be able to analyze situations and make your own decisions and deal with the consequences of your decisions. This is probably the biggest root of my disapproval of his attitude. But another part of being an adult is that you have to accept people’s differences and take people for what they are. This reinforces my sentiment that we will never be too close of friends or see eye-to-eye on anything important. I kind of wish I could trade him in for the cool Western companion I’d imagined to counter the Asians. Instead we’re about as different as two Westerners could be. He’s a spoiled, tiny, marginally delusional (personal opinion), white Englishman from a tiny little town in North England. But hey, it is what it is. As usual, I’ll try to find a way to deal. Selamat malam…
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